I am making a list of your names and will spend the next 6 weeks carrying out the following actions: -
- Randomly moving stuff around and between your rooms.
- Putting dead batteries in your remote controls.
- Adjusting stuff on your desks ever-so-slightly so you probably won't notice, but I will know...
- Setting your computers to randomly crash (I know you think I do that anyway, but this time I really am doing it....).
- Taking the paper out of your printer and turning it upside down (again... I will know... mwuhahah..).
- ... and another thing on printers.... removing *nearly* all the toner from your cartridges but leaving 2% cyan, 4% magenta, 6% yellow and 8% black so it nags you again even after you ask us to change one.
- Signing you up for automated email newsletters on the subject of 'IT workers are humans too'.
- Re-calibrating your SMARTBoard and clicking on the target dots in the opposite order as they appear.
- Repairing laptops that 'Just slipped out of your hands'... Funny how you all seem able to catch a fiver before it hits the floor though....
- Going through all your WORD documents where you have pasted an EXCEL table and replacing it with the words 'THIS IS THE WORK OF SATAN!'.
- Did I mention messing with your printers? Oh, ok...
- Reordering your filing using a font-based scoring system, documents in Comic Sans will be filed in the bin, as will any document where you used more than 2 fonts in the same paragraph.... Serif fonts will also score poorly as THIS ISN'T THE 19TH BLOODY CENTURY!
- Talking in a funny voice that sounds a bit like you and saying 'I'm
- Renaming all the folders in your 'Documents' folder after celebrity babies like 'Apple', 'Fifi Trixibelle' and 'Sage Moonblood'
- Developing a close and rewarding relationship with the Yoghurt / Lunch box you left in the Staff Room fridge that has since become sentient and developed a rudimentary vocabulary, sometimes exceeding that of the teaching staff...
- Finding where you hide your alcohol...
- Replacing every song in your iTunes folder with 'Working 9 to 5' by Dolly Parton.
Have a GREAT VACATION GUYS!